Wednesday 20 February 2013

Settling into Fatherhood

I’ve been quiet of late on my blog. That is because a couple of weeks ago this happened…

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I now have a daughter, Little L. Along with my 21-month old son, Big M, I’ve now reached my target family size!

Having a second child actually makes you think back and compare how things were with your firstborn. For a start, like everyone tells you, the second one is easier in that you don’t worry so much about things; all that training, stress and exhaustion you encountered during your firstborn’s arrival puts you in pretty good stead for handling a second baby. All sorts of things like changing nappies (which I still have to do for Big M), feeding them, burping them, bouncing up and down to sooth them, it all comes back to you. And the sleepless nights somehow seem more manageable at the moment; I now know that eventually I will get my sleep back so that is a good way of looking at things.

My paternity leave this time was also much more enjoyable. During my time off work looking after Big M I basically experienced this for two weeks:

“WHAT AM I DOING? WHY IS HE STILL CRYING? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO SURVIVE ON THIS LITTLE SLEEP? AM I LOSING MY MIND?”

Whereas with Little L it was like:

“Oh, she’s crying. Let’s cycle through the changing-feeding-soothing cycle to see if that settles her”

It left me feeling that I could actually bond with my family rather than worrying about all the little details.

The only challenge I would say I’ve found is having to deal with a hyperactive toddler and a newborn at the same time. In general Big M is very interested in his little sister – no jealousy appearing yet – but he also hasn’t got a clue how to be gentle with her. One minute he can gently kiss her on the head, the next he can give her a big smack. Trying to get him to understand the difference at such a young age is difficult but he is slowly getting there. And I’m sure when Little L is older she’ll get her own back.

Normal service will resume on this blog soon albeit a bit slower as I now have to write my posts during my lunchbreaks at work, so stay tuned.

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